The Praxis II is ruining my life.

I have to take this test.

The Praxis II.

Just the name of it sends shivers down my spine. This is a test I have to pass before the end of my third year teaching, in order to keep my job. Everybody has to do it. I have procrastinated.

This is my third year, and I am taking the test on April 30th. Way to leave it until the last minute, Lisa.

I went to a meeting about tips for test taking about a year ago. They said, "Study your notes from college."

Excuse me? You are assuming that I actually took notes in college AND that I kept them. I sat at the table where we ate candy and laughed through every class.

Then I went to another meeting a couple of months ago. They gave us a packet of papers. 30 pages. They said, "If you have everything on this memorized, you'll do fine."

Now you are assuming that I have good study habits. I'm pretty sure I have adult-onset ADD. I can't even sit through a movie. Church is even worse.

My study guide has questions on it like:

• How might a teacher apply some of Lev Vygotsky's ideas about scaffolding and direct instruction in the classroom?
• What are some examples of appropriate situations for grouping students heterogeneously? Homogeneously?
• How does a teacher translate curriculum goals and discipline-specific scope and sequence frameworks into unit and lesson plans with objectives, activities, and assessments appropriate for the students being taught?

Oh, and by the way, it's multiple choice, and then a written essay test. 4 scenario questions, 3 short answers in each essay. If my calculations are correct, that means I'm writing 12 "short" essays and finishing a multiple choice section.

And it has to be done in 2 hours or less.

This means I may be working in the grocery store, come August.

Pray for me. Hard.